My journey hasn't really been much of a minefield, has it? More like molehills, I think! I'm feeling in a really strange place at the moment. I am going back to meetings, since I really do want to be thinner for the wedding, but I am finding it hard to do the things I know I need to in order to lose weight.
About the only thing I've discovered about myself lately is that I am pretty lazy! I just cannot seem to find the energy to do anything. Each night I say to myself, ok, tomorrow's a new new day, get out there, do something, ANYTHING to get it started.
I think a part of the problem is that I don't like to push myself into uncomfortable situations. I don't like that whole sweaty, sore, out of breath feeling that goes with pushing myself to exercise. I don't like things that make me aware of my body or how big and ungainly it is. *Sigh* I know I feel better when I exercise, but faced with the option of sitting down to my studies or going out in the rain, I find it easier and easier to move less. This scares me a bit (although ironically not enough to inspire me), because I could become totally stationary so easily.
So I'm now 111.6kg. Not quite where I was when I started in January, but not far off, either. Still faaaaar away from where I want to be. I'm also finding my depression a bit harder to cope with too. Its been raining almost all day every day for the last couple of weeks, and I'm finding it so demotivating. *Blergh* I'm annoying even myself with the whinging!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
One year and One day
That's how long I have till the wedding :)
Wow, it's been almost two months since I last updated my blog. So much has happened in that time.
My fiance and I moved in together, we've booked the ceremony and reception, I'm back into my TAFE stuff . . . actually, that doesn't sound like a lot, but it's taken me a REALLY long time to get through it all (especially the moving stuff!). For about a month we went back and forth between three houses, trying to get everything moved and set up in our new house. We still have some boxes to go, but mostly, we are done. Changing all our details to reflect the move was also a big pain- I wonder if they do that to put you off?
We've been to stay out at Peppers Manor House, in Bowral NSW, where we are going to have our reception. I'll post some pics soon. It was beautiful, as is the church where we'll be getting married. We are having a "High Tea" reception, lots of little cakes, sandwiches and cups of tea. And scones with jam and cream, of course! I can't wait, I'm so excited, but at least I've got 12 months to try to get closer to my goal weight. I don't want to be any more than a size 14 when I get married, so I've got a lot of work to do between now and then. I forsee a lot of exercise in my immediate future!
Hope my "followers" are doing well in their journies.
Wow, it's been almost two months since I last updated my blog. So much has happened in that time.
My fiance and I moved in together, we've booked the ceremony and reception, I'm back into my TAFE stuff . . . actually, that doesn't sound like a lot, but it's taken me a REALLY long time to get through it all (especially the moving stuff!). For about a month we went back and forth between three houses, trying to get everything moved and set up in our new house. We still have some boxes to go, but mostly, we are done. Changing all our details to reflect the move was also a big pain- I wonder if they do that to put you off?
We've been to stay out at Peppers Manor House, in Bowral NSW, where we are going to have our reception. I'll post some pics soon. It was beautiful, as is the church where we'll be getting married. We are having a "High Tea" reception, lots of little cakes, sandwiches and cups of tea. And scones with jam and cream, of course! I can't wait, I'm so excited, but at least I've got 12 months to try to get closer to my goal weight. I don't want to be any more than a size 14 when I get married, so I've got a lot of work to do between now and then. I forsee a lot of exercise in my immediate future!
Hope my "followers" are doing well in their journies.
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